If you’re like most of my clients when they first approach me, you find online dating a little frustrating. You feel like you waste tons of time searching online profiles and then when you actually turn those messages into dates, there’s no chemistry. You think, “It couldn’t possibly be my fault that I’m not succeeding at online dating.” And perhaps you’re right. But if you’re like the hundreds of people I’ve coached who’ve changed their dating lives in a matter of weeks (or even days), there are some simple things you can do to improve your results overnight. Here are 6 of my top online dating secrets:
1. Shorten Your Profile
The only thing worse than a sparse profile that says nothing specific about you is a long profile that says everything about you. You’re writing an advertisement for yourself not a memoir of your life. Either in free dating sites or paid ones, the ideal length for an “about me” section is 3 short paragraphs.
2. A Picture Speaks A Thousand Words
It doesn’t matter what you say in your profile if your pictures are a turnoff. Make sure your photos are clearly saying something about your personality and the things you enjoy. Also swap out your photos regularly (once a month on average) to come up higher in searches and gain new appeal with veteran users who may have passed you up based on a different picture.
3. Accentuate The Positive
Most of my clients come to me with a profile that talks more about what they don’t want than what they do. Eliminate any demands about what potential mates must do or cannot do, and avoid rants about what you hate. And especially forgo any mention of what bugged you about your ex.
4. Tell Your Life Story
Rather than write a list of all your amazing qualities and favorite activities, tell a brief (and hopefully funny) story about a time when you used those skills. Not only will it make your profile stand out more, but it will give a potential date something to talk about when they message you.
5. Search Far and Wide
A couple of kilograms, centimeters or years off your age really don’t matter in the long run. Lean towards being more open in your criteria for a mate, so that you can determine if someone is worth pursuing once the email comes in. Also be proactive about searching by broadening your criteria even by a few inches, years or miles and a plethora of new options may surface.
6. Edit Your Pictures
Photo editing is only controversial if you’re actually changing the way you look. However, it’s now commonplace to adjust lighting, exposure, sharpness or contrast to improve your photo’s quality. One simple trick to make yourself stand out is by cropping anyone else out of the photo. If you crop it yourself you can control where the eye goes and make sure it doesn’t wander to your very attractive friend standing next to you.
Online dating sites in South Africa is an exercise in first dates but practice makes perfect. Take a step back from the emotion of looking for a mate and see if you notice any patterns about what gets you noticed: double down on what works and cut out what doesn’t. Like me, you can actually find true love online when you keep an open, yet analytical, mind and a positive attitude.